Things My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me to APPRECIATE a work well done:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You'd better pray that this thing come out from the carpet!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why." (False cause for sure!)

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, just in case you get into an accident."

My mother taught me OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat you dinner!" (Am I an amoeba?)

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming towards you; would you then listen." (Now I see the reason why I suck in physics XD)

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once I've told you a million times-Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
" I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."